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 Post subject: Tell Me More Challenge -- "Oregund"
PostPosted: Tue Oct 17, 2017 7:35 pm 
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My Commanding Officer calls me Chris. Rankers call me Captain Cranston to my face and other things when I'm not around.

Born Christine Helen Cranston, several parsecs away. Raised as a criminal then trained as a black ops raider. We kill 'em on land and in deep space. Equal opportunity; that's me!

That was me.

A dirty op: capture a five year old girl and kill anyone who tries to stop you. Nine battle hardened special operations killers and a top of the line gunship. Unstoppable.

This little punk captain barely into his second enlistment stopped us cold.

He cheated; he talks to the Creator personally. He talked us into helping him change the world. I went with him to Oregund since some parts of the world needed to be convinced to change.

Oregund. I got to talk to the Creator myself. That wasn't a conversation I was ready for.

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 Post subject: Re: Tell Me More Challenge -- "Oregund"
PostPosted: Tue Oct 17, 2017 7:38 pm 
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Tell me more!

I love the set-up. The characters and plot seem awesome and full of potential. But it doesn't read like a back cover copy--partially because it's in 1st person--it reads more like a prologue.

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 Post subject: Re: Tell Me More Challenge -- "Oregund"
PostPosted: Tue Oct 17, 2017 9:48 pm 
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This would be the "Inside the cover half page teaser" sort of thing.

It's all atpollard's fault. The game is on-going and Marco is at a place where his growth arc has completed. Others are at a place to grow, like Chris. Here's a scene from the game.

####

Chris hadn't killed anyone lately; it was starting to wear on her. She had read the message twice now and it still made little sense.

Tony asked me to ask you not to kill him. They had to do another rescue and are now back here. Celinda says 'hi' and wanted me to tell you that she was done with chapter 17. Moving to chapter 12. Not sure what that means, but that's what she said. -- CPT T. Domici

Okay, it made sense. Chris sat up. Sapphire was still zonked out; she had been working late into the night ever since she arrived. The women, even Christine, were in one side of the bunker and the men were in the other. Chris felt she didn't belong in either side, but this didn't seem the time to argue.

"Heck with this." She muttered and went for a shower. She hadn't had a chance to clean her internal suit so she had just grabbed some guy's spare sweater and wore it across the bunker to the shower area. She rinsed off her suit and wrung it dry. In ten minutes it would be wearable. She pulled off the sweater and cleaned herself, loving the how water and keeping her face buried in the water flow.

After several long minutes she shut off the water and turned to see some college guy staring at her. "Uhh...." he said.

"You pay for that college? Can you talk?" She toweled herself off.

"This is the men's shower room. At least I thought it was."

"Civilians." Chris muttered. She remembered Cel's note and put on the sweater. "All yours, kid." She said, heading back to her bunk area.

Cel's note. The two women had vastly different tastes in men, food, and how to have a good time. Cel read a lot. Chris was more like the girl the stories were about. Still, Cel had said what Top had said, and that carried weight. Cel was homely and a book worm, until she started unloading plasma. She'd been on a few dates but nothing serious. She wanted to find a husband.

Chris, on the other hand, wanted to get promoted and awarded. That's what chapter seventeen in the manual was all about; using psyops and dirty tricks to defeat the enemy. In Chris' case, the enemy were the men and women who stood in her way. She had gotten a slot to OCS; "making it" in her book. At least until she got bored. Top knew she had manoeuvred into it, he had given her more than one back-handed compliment in "seventeening that well". He had also suggested, back in Dirtville, that there were new rules in play. The new CO wouldn't take a seventeen action lightly.

Chris hadn't known what to do. She had watched the locals and the new CO. Top wasn't helping, he was running around keeping everything else going. Then Cel's message. Cel was boots on the ground, so she would know. With Chris and Top being gone, and those convoys running, Cel would be in charge. True to her too nice to be a Raider self, unless you were a bully, Cel had known Chris was floundering. She had thrown a lifeline. Chapter Twelve, "The Responsibilities of a Leader". Part history, part philosophy, that part of the Raider's manual had often seem the most fluffy to Chris. Fluffy meant useless. Until Top hinted at it and Cel pointed to it since Chris was missing the mark.

Cel was telling Chris to be an exemplary leader, not just someone who fast-tracked it to the golden shinies. To play by totally different rules.

"Fluffy rules." Chris muttered, climbing into her now dry suit. she started to armor up but ditched it. They had been given BIG uniforms, might as well blend with the natives. At least until plasma was called for. It was usually called for.

"Huh?" Sapphire rolled over and looked at Chris. "Is it real early or real late?"

Chris stared. The notes in Chapter Twelve ran through her. Top was a Twelve, straight up. He had hinted that the new CO was a Twelve as well. That's why the Seventeen wouldn't work.

Chris looked at Sapphire. "It's too early, Doc. Look, I'm going to find some food for us girls. The guys can stick to the swill they serve here but I've had Navy grub. I have standards."

"Food is good." Sapphire said and rolled back over. "Thank you."

Twelve, huh? Chris had a long way to go.

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